Note to Self

I reached a breaking point today.

I realized how much work I have ahead of me in the last month of school. I realized I’m almost done with school forever. No more summer breaks. No more month-long Christmas breaks. No more spring breaks. I’ll be in the real world with a real job. And then there’s just that, a job, which I don’t have. Terrifying.

I think I’m making myself physically sick.

So instead of more rambling about my stress that will only make me more stressed, I wanted to stop and focus on the wonderful things in my life right now, because somehow I keep forgetting about them. Even though I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged this exact same post before, I need reassurance and reminders over and over and over and this is my way to de-stress. And again as much as I want you to read this and get something out of it, this blog is really for me.

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What I’m thankful for right now…

I have a roof over my head, food to eat and clean water to drink.

and if I didn’t have those things, I would have plenty of people to provide them for me.

I have people in my life who really care about me. I have someone I can call or text or drop by to see at any time — to complain to, to share good news with, to cry with, to laugh with, to simply be with.

As much as I forget it, not everyone has that.

I’m getting married in less than 70 days.

Though the rest of my future is uncertain, that’s the one thing I know I have, and goodness, that makes things so much easier.

I’m healthy.

Yes, I get headaches more often than I wish. And some days I feel nauseous or my stomach hurts or my feet hurt, but I don’t have to live with a disease that affects my life. I can do anything I want without even thinking about it.

I’m blessed financially.

I’m not living from one paycheck to another. I’m not worrying about how I’m going to feed myself. I’m not worrying about the bills getting paid on time.

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The most important thing to remember about being blessed with all these things is how I use them.

Do I give back financially like I could? Do I complain too much about my aches and pains? Do I show how thankful I am to the people around me and tell them how much they mean to me? Do I groan at having to drink tap water when some people have no water?

Looking at everything I have and everyone I have in my life, my life seems almost perfect. Why complain about a silly old thesis when the death toll is rising in Japan and people can’t find their families or have nowhere to go with no food to eat?

Yes, we all know this already. But another reminder can never hurt.

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” -Luke 12:48