my three-day weekend in pictures
Saturday (and Sunday morning):
Celebrating John’s 29th Birthday all day … Pizza + Beer, Arcadia Retrograde, Party Time
Sunday:
Sleeping in + Lake Day
Monday:
Husband’s first 5k (in the rain), Brunch, Nap + Everything we procrastinated doing all weekend
How was your three-day weekend?
xo xo
End of Summer To-Do List
The end of summer is near. Or at least it feels like it now school is back in session and everyone is talking about football, PSL and new boots. But it really doesn’t feel like it at all. It’s the average August in Arkansas, aka 100 degrees by 10am.
If you ask, I’ll tell you I’m so ready for fall and everything that comes with it. However, with the month or so left of hot weather, I’m holding on to the last few bits of summer to round out my summer to-do list.
I typically make a summer bucket list every year. I posted this one last year: Summer-ish Things and this one in 2010: Endless Summer. There are a lot of similarities – always canoeing/floating (which happened this year for the first time in years!) and always going to the drive-in (which never seems to happen). But this year we will try again!
Accomplished:
1. Road trip + the BEACH
2. Floating
3. Host a party
4. Brewery hopping
5. Outdoor concert
6. Hang by the pool, good book and drink in hand
7. Consistent games of catch with puppy after work
8. Start running
9. Perfect a summer recipe
10. Stay up super late pretending like we have nothing better to do the next day than sleep in, a la high school and college summers
Still on the list:
1. Stand up paddle boarding
2. Drive-in movie
3. Water park
4. Floating (again!)
5. Do something ridiculously spontaneous
6. Lake time
Who wants to cross any of these off with me??
xo xo
sunday inspiration
{simple fashion – stripes + army vest}
{capturing beauty in a wine glass}
{friendship}
{fall recipes – goat cheese + walnuts + honey}
{clean and classic decor}
{passionate love, humphrey bogart + lauren bacall}
xo xo
Mamma Migas! {recipe}
Some days, I just want to cook. Usually those days are on the weekend and not during the busy work week. After a relaxing weekend {hanging with friends, watching The Good Wife, getting a mani/pedi} I was ready to spend some time in the kitchen. We typically rise early on Sundays to make the coffee for first service at our church, so by the time we get home we’re starving. After perusing The Pioneer Woman breakfast recipes, I landed on migas.
I am not an egg eater, but will eat it if it’s mixed in with a bunch of good stuff, like fresh peppers, tomatoes, onion and cilantro, so I thought this would be a safe bet.
After making the recipe, husband and I decided to add two things for next time – ground turkey and black beans. Then it will be perfectly delicioso!
Migas via The Pioneer Woman
Servings: 2-3
Prep Time: 15-20 minutes, Cook Time: 15-20 minutes
Ingredients
- 3 whole Corn Tortillas
- 1 whole Jalapeno, Finely Diced
- 3 whole Plum Tomatoes, Roughly Chopped
- 1/2 Green Pepper, Roughly Chopped
- 1/2 Red Bell Pepper, Roughly Chopped
- 1/2 Medium Onion, Chopped
- 6 Large Eggs
- 1 cup Cheese, Grated (we used Colby Jack, but she called for Cotilla, which would be delicious)
- 1/3 cup Cilantro, Chopped
- 1 Tablespoon Butter
- 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
- 1/8 cup Half-and-half
Preparation Instructions
In a bowl, whisk together eggs and half & half. Salt and pepper eggs, then set aside.
In a small skillet over medium heat, heat oil and fry each corn tortilla just until crisp. Remove to a paper towel-lined plate to drain. Chop tortillas and set aside.
In a large skillet over medium-high heat, melt the olive oil with the butter. Add onions and bell peppers and cook until starting to turn brown/black, about 3 to 4 minutes. Add in diced jalapenos and stir to combine. Add tomatoes to the skillet and stir around, then add tortilla pieces, stirring gently to combine.
Reduce heat to low.
When the heat has decreased, pour egg mixture into skillet. Stir gently to cook with the peppers, folding mixture very gently as it cooks. Add in grated cheese and chopped cilantro, and stir to combine.
Happy brunching! xo xo
You might also enjoy: One-Pan Enchilada Pasta, Tomato, Avocado + Feta Salsa
My newfound {terribly surprising} love of NPR
I’ve never been much of a radio listener. I enjoy music of course, but always hated talk radio. Growing up on road trips when my parents would turn on talk radio or sports I thought it was the worst thing in the world. But the worst of the worst was when they turned on NPR – UGH. In my mind, NPR was an old-person radio station with boring news by boring people who have boring, monotonous voices.
I had a very negative connotation of NPR for years, until just last week.
As I’ve stated previously, we recently gave up cable and one of the things I miss most is watching/listening to The Today Show in the mornings while getting ready for work. When husband said there was a new NPR app he wanted to listen to in the mornings, I was hesitant to try it, but wanted something to fill the void even if it was the old-person radio.
NPR One is similar to Pandora – you can skip the segments you don’t want to hear and mark what you find interesting so it caters content to you. Guess what … it’s incredible.
I do still have a problem with the monotonous voices (I know, that’s just radio, but I guess I need more flair than that). But the content is fascinating. I’ve realized I don’t necessarily enjoy listening to the typical news segments, local, national or global, but I love the random stories I would never hear otherwise.
Here’s a few things I’ve learned from NPR this week …
- There are things called Morning Glory Raves. Strip away the drugs and alcohol typical to a rave, keep the loud music and energetic dancing and do it at 6:30am on a weekday. There are smoothie and espresso bars. People bring their kids. It’s a family-friendly party before work and school, and it sounds amazing. Currently only in London, Bangalore, Sydney, New York and San Fran, I’m thinking of starting one in Bentonville.
- Guys are more likely to say “uh” and girls are more likely to say “um.” When people say “uh” they’re searching for what to say and when they say “um” they’re searching for how to say it. Fascinating.
- Hops, a main ingredient in craft beer, is steadily rising in price due to the increasing popularity of craft beers in the US.
- There are only 1,600 pandas in the entire world and 300 are in captivity. One of those 1,600 had triplets this week, which is extremely extremely rare.
- Of all the U.S. currency in the world, nearly 80% is in $100 bills. That’s about a trillion dollars. One economist is suggesting doing away with the bill because it’s beneficial mostly to criminals (drug lords, human traffickers, etc.) to smuggle money more easily.
Where else but NPR would I have learned all of this as well as kept abreast on what’s happening with Ebola, Ferguson, Mo. and the interstate construction in Arkansas?
I guess I’m officially a convert, and I can’t wait for the day when my kids think I’m an old, boring person listening to talk radio on road trips.
xo xo
life lately
{floating this // the Illinois River with these awesome people}
{working this // Walmart Blogger Day in San Jose, CA}
{celebrating this // husband’s 27th birthday!}
{visiting this // family home in Magnolia, Ark. where my parents got married 41 years ago}
{enjoying this // beautiful night to see Steve Martin, Edie Brickell and the Steep Canyon Rangers at the AMP}
{celebrating this // our new home at our official housewarming party!}
xo xo
10 Signs of a Successful Housewarming Party
1. There are blue feathers literally everywhere. You find some 2 days later in the front bushes.
2. Someone loses their wallet.
3. You’re literally the last pizza delivery order of the night at 1am.
4. You develop a name on the spot for the punch everyone is gushing over. (SDP aka Sam’s Delicious Punch)
5. You spend way too long trying to perfect the jumping picture.
6. You also spend way too long trying to perfect the Moscow Mule.
7. You end up with more alcohol than you started with.
8. All your food gets eaten. Even your leftovers in the refrigerator.
9. There’s a (fake) sword fight on the front lawn.
10. You take a 4-hour nap the next day.
I’d say our house is officially warmed.
xo xo
Book Reviews: Vacation Reads + A New Series
Mercury in Retrograde: This is one of those random library books you just pick up and check out even though you don’t know much about it. I took it on vacation as an easy read and read it in 2 days. But that’s pretty much all it is – an easy, lighthearted read. It’s about three girls lives turning upside down (due to mercury in retrograde, obviously) and as their paths cross they learn from each other and turn it all around.
GRADE: B+
Wild: This was next on the vacation book list and it was quite the opposite from my first read. If you enjoy nature, you need to read it. If you enjoy adventure and soul searching, you need to read it. If you enjoy good books, you need to read it!! A woman hiking a 1,100 miles in a journey of self-discovery – sounds a little boring, huh? Not even close. I felt so connected to the main character by the end that I could feel her tears in my eyes. This is officially on my list of top 10 favorite books of all time.
GRADE: A+
The Vacationers: Oh, The Vacationers. I’ve had you on my reading list for months now. I put you on hold at the library and was SO excited to see it was finally my turn to read you. And sadly, you really disappointed me. You had a myriad of characters that could have had so much depth, but didn’t. Your plot barely seemed to inch along. I considered dropping you several times, but decided to finish. Did you pay off those magazine reviews that sang your praises?
GRADE: B-/C+
Divergent: Okay, I know I’m like a year behind on this trend, but I’m so glad I finally caught on. I’m not saying this is a tremendously well-written, deep novel (like Wild), but for a young adult series it’s so engaging. I was literally obsessing over the next time I could read because all I wanted to do was finish the book. I also read Insurgent, the second book in the series, and really enjoyed it. However, I fear the third will be similar to Hunger Games, a disappointing end to a fantastic series.
GRADE: A
Next books on the list: The Happiness Project, Allegiant, Dear Daughter
xo xo
Sunday Expectations vs Reality
E X P E C T A T I O N S
Wake up refreshed from the weekend, leisurely get ready for church while brewing that perfect Sunday morning coffee.
On your drive home from church, make your mental to-do list of everything that needs to get done today and start immediately.
Go grocery shopping then come home with fresh ingredients to make a good, healthy lunch.
Take the dog on a nice long walk or play catch in the backyard for a bit. Enjoy the sunshine.
Do just a little bit of housework, like a load of laundry or the dishes.
Do something just for you – read on your book, watch a TV show, take a nice long bath.
Plan dinners for the rest of the week and make a new recipe you’ve been eyeing for dinner.
Enjoy a cozy evening in with food, wine and a movie.
Go to bed early to prepare for the week ahead.
R E A L I T Y
Wake up late, lie in bed checking Facebook and Instagram then realize what time it is and rush out of bed to get hurriedly ready for church. Maybe stop by Starbucks for some coffee if you have 1 minute to spare before the service starts, or just drink the free coffee at church.
On your drive home from church, make your mental to-do list of everything that needs to get done today and immediately get overwhelmed.
Ravage the fridge and pantry to find something, anything for lunch and realize you HAVE to go to Walmart before dinner.
Lie on the couch after lunch telling yourself you’ll get up and do something productive in just a minute …. accidentally fall asleep.
Wake up feeling even lazier than before, but realize you have to do something today – either go to Walmart or clean the house, but definitely not both.
Go to Walmart only to come home and realize you have no clue what you could make for dinner with the $100 of groceries you just bought. Put in a pizza.
Play with the dog for a few minutes in the backyard, then come in only to complain about how hot it is and how tired you are from the day.
Stay up way too late getting lost in your latest TV show (ahem-Orphan Black).
Go to bed thinking about all the stuff you didn’t get done today and will have to do throughout the week instead. Immediately feel overwhelmed and wonder why you didn’t use your day productively.
ALT. REALITY: Laze around in your pajamas all day, just not giving a damn.
Can I get an Amen?
xo xo
Let it rain.
“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
life lately
{playing this // ball in the backyard with puppy}
{remembering this // our first 4th of July together in 2007}
{eating this // my first Salvadoran food experience – pupusas!}
{enjoying this // silly time with friends}
{relaxing with this // baseball + a beautiful sunset}
xo xo
Summer Nights + Why You Don’t Need Cable
When we moved into our new home we decided to give up cable. Really the only time we watched it anyway was in the mornings watching The Today Show (which I do miss) and randomly at nights when we didn’t have a specific show to watch. The majority of time though we were watching Hulu Plus, Netflix or Amazon Instant Video.
If you haven’t made the switch to no cable yet, let me fill you in on a secret – It’s totally worth it.
There will definitely be some growing pains. Like I said, I can’t turn on the news in the morning and listen to the top stories and hear the weather for the week. If there’s a show I really want to watch live I have to find somewhere to watch it (like PLL last week at my Mom’s house … #dontjudgeme.) I sometimes miss shows I wouldn’t stream like Wheel of Fortune, Duck Dynasty or House Hunters.
But let me tell you the biggest benefit of it all (besides saving money) – it will seem like you have so much more free time. Maybe you’re not like us, but before we gave up cable, this would be our routine: come home, turn on the tv, start making dinner, watch tv during dinner, watch tv after dinner. But since we don’t have that option anymore, we’re way more selective about what we watch. We don’t just turn on the tv to turn it on for noise. If we turn it on it’s to watch a show we really want to watch.
Now, let me remind you, we’re tv watchers – we have so many shows we keep up with during the season it’s a little insane. Then in the Summer usually we pick a few shows we want to start watching or catch up on that we don’t have time to watch during the year. Summer 2014 was Orange Is The New Black, but we finished that a few weeks ago and haven’t started anything else. Even though I get an itch every now and then to start a new show so we have something to watch, I’m trying to hold back. It’s like an addiction. We don’t need something to watch every night. We have plenty of other things to fill our time. Instead we’ve been …
playing ball with Olli in the backyard,
reading together on the couch or going to bed early to lay in bed and read,
sitting on the porch really talking about our days,
cooking dinner together,
cleaning up dinner together,
hanging out with friends,
going on walks
It’s really felt like Summer – long nights with seemingly unending sunlight. So I implore you, even if you decide to keep cable, maybe turn it off just for the Summer. (How many good tv shows are on right now anyway?) Or maybe just have specific no tv nights during the week.
I hope you will find it as refreshing as we have.
xo xo
Seven {detestable} Things
Our church is starting a new series called Seven Things. When I first heard about it, I thought it was going to be about the seven deadly sins, something we’re all pretty much familiar with. However, I was incorrect. It’s about a passage in Proverbs that I’ve never read before or at least never paid much attention to –
There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies and
a person who stirs up conflict in the community.– Proverbs 6:16-19
From the start I was very intrigued by this series and now after week 1, even more so. Husband and I left the service talking about how great the message was and how convicted we were.
Week 1/Detestable Thing 1: Haughty Eyes – looking at people in need and judging them.
I will be the first to raise my hand and say I do this way too often. I really felt like this sermon was being preached to me. I judge people’s outfits or their hairstyle, I judge what someone says or what they do. I judge homeless people and people I work with. I know I shouldn’t, but it has become so commonplace and normal in society that it’s hardly even frowned upon.
But guess what – God doesn’t judge. He has seen me at my very worst and didn’t look at me with haughty eyes, but instead with compassion. This is what I like about this series, not only are we studying the behaviors we shouldn’t do, but we’re pairing them with the fruits of the spirit to show what we should do.
Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness – looking at people in need and helping meet the need.
God knows what he’s doing. He has placed all of us exactly where we need to be at every single moment in our life. He has not placed us where we are so that we can look at someone, judge them and think how much better we are than them. He has placed us there so we can take action and do something kind.
Here’s the thing. We often see people and think, what can I do? I don’t have the time or the money or know what to do so I just won’t do anything. BUT if we have the time to judge someone, we at least have the time to say a prayer. Say a prayer for God to bring someone into that person’s life who does have the resources to help, or say a prayer asking how you can help. There are people all around us who just need a little kindness and a little love instead of being looked down upon.
My prayer is that this week when we see someone and start to judge, instead we say a little prayer and see how we can meet a need.
* * *
I plan to share each week of this series on my blog. However, if you’re interested in attending the service with us to hear the message firsthand, please let me know. We would love for you to join us. You can learn more about The Grove Church here.
xo xo
4th of July Celebrations & Tomato, Avocado + Feta Salsa {Recipe}
It always seems when a holiday rolls around I suddenly get the urge to cook or bake, especially if I’m going to a party to celebrate. I guess that’s the entertainer in me. I can’t just take something boring to a party, especially if there’s a fun theme like red, white and blue!
Yesterday we celebrated the patriotic holiday at a friend’s house where we grilled out, drank beer and watched the kids play, then walked over to the park for fireworks. You can’t get more American than that can you?
{the amazingness in the backyard for the kids – I’m just waiting for an adult night with this thing!}
{we’re so cute in our red, white and blue}
I made these adorable, simple cookies for the event. Ingredients: sugar cookies, icing, strawberries and blueberries. Directions: Make sugar cookies (or buy them like I did … Walmart has some great ones in the bakery), ice them (I prefer whipped vanilla), decorate with strawberries and blueberries! Everyone loved them!
I also made the Tomato, Avocado + Feta salsa recipe below that was phenomenal. I will absolutely make this again and again this summer. It was so light and refreshing and full of fresh ingredients. Husband and I walked back from the fireworks ready for a late-night snack, headed straight for the salsa and …. it was all gone. Guess I’ll just have to make some more soon! Enjoy!
T O M A T O , A V O C A D O + F E T A S A L S A
Ingredients:
3 plump tomatoes
4 avocados
4 oz. garlic + herb crumbled feta
handful of jalapenos
cilantro
1/2 lemon juice
S&P
Directions:
1. Dice the tomatoes, avocados, cilantro and jalapenos (if you want a little kick.)
2. Mix all together, including the feta.
3. Top with lemon juice to keep the avocado from turning brown and for a little extra flavor.
4. Serve with (my preference) Tostitos scoops.
xo xo
Vacation Picturebook: Aldermans in Alabama
{first stop – after 12 hours of driving, who doesn’t want a cold beer and HUGE nachos at a bar with the coolest name ever}
{before there was the beach, there was the pool … well, in this case there was, and it was just so peaceful}
{after-dinner bushwackers at LuLu’s – Jimmy Buffett’s sister’s restaurant}
{the best breakfast everrrr – bananas in pajamas + mimosa flight}
{day at the beach with these cuties – isn’t he going to make the best dad??}
{view from our balcony and view of our beach towels}
{LOVED this restaurant in Orange Beach; also LOVED meeting up with some beautiful girls I haven’t seen in 3 years!}
{final meal – shrimp and grits perfectly peppery shrimp and amazingly cheesy grits}
{let the wedding festivities begin!}
{stunning wedding, venue and bride – what more do you need?}
{yep, we did the sprinklr down the aisle}
{love this lady so much and was so excited to be part of this special day – can’t wait to visit them in Austin!}
{what an amazing week with delicious food, quality time with husband, beautiful beaches and … }
{… the perfect car ride home with this guy. yep, we stole him from his mother}
xo xo
Beach or Bust
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmer of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time.”
I haven’t been to the beach since our honeymoon. In 3 years. That’s practically blasphemous, y’all. The beach is my safe haven. I can never get enough of the sweet, salty air, sand between my toes and sultry sun beating on my sweat-stained skin. Give me a book and am margarita and I could sit outside all day. And that I will, starting Monday.
We leave tomorrow for the 12-hour drive to Gulf Shores, AL (my home state!). The purpose of the trip is ultimately for a best friend’s beach wedding, but we decided to turn it into a week-long vacation with a cozy condo overlooking the gulf.
Usually I plan every second of our trip from the restaurants we eat at to the activities we have to pack in, but this trip I have nothing – I repeat, NOTHING – planned. Except of course sleeping in and laying on the beach. It makes me a little anxious, but I’m also so excited to just relax and be spontaneous with our week. Who knows where it will take us?!
Follow our travels on Instagram @milledavis and through our hashtag #AldermansInAlabama.
I hope you have a good week. See you when we get back (very tan and very relaxed).
xo xo
life lately
{enjoying this // a beautiful evening with friends, wine + cheese}
{celebrating this // our third anniversary}
{working this // long Shareholders week made bearable thanks to these ladies}
{indulging in this // amazing ice cream food truck}
{trying this // a new nail trend that I’m loving}
xo xo
I Think I Could Survive in Prison — and Other Things I’ve Learned From “Orange Is The New Black”
We’ve officially caught up with the rest of the population and become OITNB fans. I actually think we did it the right way. We binged on the first season right when the second one came out, so we didn’t have to wait a year to see the fallout from the finale. We are SO CLOSE to finishing the second season I can hardly stand it.
I was skeptical at first, why would I want to watch a show about women in prison? Well if you’re still one of the ones asking, let me tell you why – it puts a whole new perspective on the prison system and the people in prison. Not just numbers in an orange jumpsuit, but faces and names and backstories. It shows you they’re real people who make mistakes, just like you and me.
Yes, just like you and me, who could go to prison, and if you do, remember these tips …
1. Never insult the cooking. Ever. Lesson learned day 1.
2. Make friends with everyone – the guards, the fast-talking hispanics, the born-again/crazy-again Christian, the one with crazy eyes, the ex-girlfriend – wait, don’t do that one. And if you do befriend the crazy eyes, just be prepared, dandelion.
3. If you have your choice in jobs, choose the library.
4. Take showers 30 seconds or less … you never know what might come out of the drain.
5. Speaking of the bathroom – get up EARLY to do your business. The bathrooms with the doors are the first to go.
6. Don’t assume anything of anyone, good or bad. You don’t know their story and what they’ve been through to get where they are.
7. Find out what everyone’s vices are. You will have to bribe, and if you have someone’s favorite candy, makeup or *cough*contraband*cough* it will come in handy.
8. Don’t say anything on the phone that can get you in trouble.
9. Inappropriate things happen in the chapel. Just stay out if not for a service.
10. One person can change the course of everything. Remember #2.
11. If you’re engaged when you go in, tell your fiance you will most likely {at least} kiss a girl in prison, so don’t get too riled up over it. When in Rome.
12. And lastly, very importantl, send in a check for commissary items WEEKS in advance. Otherwise you’ll be making shower shoes out of maxipads.
xo xo
You might also enjoy: 11 Reasons Pretty Little Liars Is My New Obsession, How To Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Part II
One-Pan Enchilada Pasta {recipe}
With our beautiful, new kitchen and the unboxing of all of our pots and pans and appliances, Husband and I have been spending more time in the kitchen cooking together, and we love it. It’s such a relaxing way to end the day – pour a glass of wine, cook together without the TV on or any distractions, and talk about our day at work.
As we’ve been cooking more, I’ve been trying out new recipes and the one I’m sharing today has been a HIT. We’ve already made it twice in the last month and it will now be a staple in my recipe repertoire. It’s easy, delicious and you can add or remove things to make it just for you. Oh, and it only takes one pan!! That’s my kind of cooking.
O N E – P A N E N C H I L A D A P A S T A
via
Ingredients
- 2 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil
- 1/2 of a small onion, diced
- 1.25 pounds of ground turkey meat
- 1 tbsp taco seasoning
- 2 cups of chicken broth
- 1 19oz can of red enchilada sauce
- 8oz (about 2 1/2 cups) of dried rotini pasta
- 2 cups of freshly shredded Colby Jack cheese
- toppings: black olives, diced tomatoes, jalapenos, green onions, southwestern crunch bites
Instructions
- In a large sauté pan, onions in olive oil over medium low heat until softened.
- Add ground turkey meat and and taco seasoning and cook, breaking meat up with a wooden spoon until browned.
- Once turkey meat is cooked through, add pasta, chicken broth and enchilada sauce to pan.
- Bring to a boil, then reduced heat to low and cover.
- Cook on low, with pan covered for about 15 minutes.
- Then remove lid and let simmer for additional 5 minutes until pasta is tender and sauce has reduced.
- Remove from heat and stir in 1 cup of cheese.
- Top pasta with additional cup of cheese and place lid back on pan and let heat from the pasta melt the cheese.
- Garnish with your toppings of choice.
xo xo
You might also enjoy: Pepperoni Rolls {recipe}, Labor Day Weekend Huevos Rancheros, Good ol’ Spaghetti {recipe}
my story, my truth
Some days death just knocks the breath right out of you. The first day I experienced this was in 2006 when my grandfather died, and the second was in December when my Dad died.
But even though I haven’t felt that blunt force more than twice in my life, I’ve felt so much more, every day. Including today.
“If anywhere in your soul, you feel the desire to write, please write. Write as a gift to yourself and others. Everyone has a story to tell. Writing is not about creating tidy paragraphs that sound lovely or choosing the “right” words. It’s just about noticing who you are and noticing life and sharing what you notice. When you write your truth, it is a love offering to the world because it helps us feel braver and less alone.” – Carry On, Warrior
I’ve been sharing my story on my blog about life and grief and truth and I wanted to continue the story today. I cannot promise to write in tidy paragraphs that sound lovely, but I can promise to share what I notice and write my truth.
A family friend passed away today. I didn’t know him well. I’d only been around him twice. He was a friend of my parents while they were working in Ohio. He was there when my Dad passed away and he was this gentle, calming presence. Someone you know genuinely means what they say and will genuinely do anything to help you.
He got married to his fiance this week and while that may make you sad, it makes me so so happy. Just from the little I knew and saw, they were a beautiful couple and I’m so thankful they found each other and she will “always be his forever.”
But how is this fair, how?! I feel like I’ve learned so much about death this year and grown so much, then this happens and I feel like I’m stepping 10 steps back.
I’m crying. I’m crying because it brings up feelings about my Dad. I’m crying because now I can truly empathize with someone who loses a loved one. I’m crying because I can’t possibly understand how I will get through my life knowing I will have to go through this feeling again and again and again.
Someone told me you have to schedule time to grieve. Just like you schedule coffee with a friend or time to go to the grocery store. It needs to be part of your week. Ever since I heard that I knew it was true, but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. It’s like voluntarily scheduling myself to get a shot every week. Why would I put myself through the pain if I didn’t have to?
I’m still learning. I’m still crawling through this grief and life even though I’m 25 years old. This is my story I’m sharing with you. I don’t have any inspirational words to end with. I just want to tell my story. I want to be honest and real even though it’s scary and hard and messy. This is my forum, to tell my truth. Life is hard. Life is really, really hard. Every single day is hard. Some days are harder than others and today was one of those days.
But there’s one thing I do know – I know when my Dad saw Scott today, he had a big grin on his face, gave him a big hug and they started talking about football. And that, that does give me some joy.
xo xo
Carry On, Warrior
It’s not often you find a book you relate to so well that you vow to re-read it every year before you’ve even finished it.
Thanks to my wonderful friend Nicky, I was introduced to Glennon Doyle Melton, her blog momastery.com and her book Carry On, Warrior. I honestly don’t even have the words to express how much I love this book. Its heartwarming, its hilarious, its smart, its inspirational. As Nicky described it before I started reading – “Its part auto-biography, part beautiful essays, all about life and Jesus and being a human.” Pretty perfect description.
What’s interesting about this book is that I could see how one could read it at different times in their life and learn different lessons each time. There are a lot of chapters about being a parent, of which I’m not currently, but when I am, I’m sure I’ll go back and read it and relate so much more.
As I’m about halfway through the book, I’ve already bookmarked several pages of her words that have been so inspirational and fitting for the time of life I’m currently in, struggling through death and grief.
On helping her sister deal with a tragic situation: “I learned that in these disasters, all we can do is tell them that their grief is real, and if it lasts forever, then we will grieve with them forever. As far as I was able to tell during those two years, there was nothing else worth saying. It was not going to be all right, ever. Everything doesn’t happen for a decent reason. I couldn’t do anything at all except feed her, hold her when she cried, pray angry prayers, keep showing up and know that time, and my home and presence would offer healing.”
To her son, on the death of their fish: “When he asked me, ‘Why Mom? Why does God send us here, where things hurt so much? Why does he make us love things He knows we’re going to lose?’ I told him that we don’t love people and animals because we will have them forever; we love them because loving them changes us, makes us better, healthier, kinder, realer. Loving people and animals makes us stronger in the right ways and weaker in the right ways. Even if animals and people leave, even if they die, they leave us better. So we keep loving even though we might lose, because loving teaches us and changes us. And that’s what we’re here to do. God sends us here to learn how to be better lovers, and to learn how to be loved, so we’ll be better prepared for Heaven.”
Y’all. I just had to share those passages. When I read the first one, I literally just started crying because she’s SO right. I don’t want people to know that just so they can understand what I’m going through, but I want to know that and remember it for when I’m helping others through their grief. Then the second passage – whether it’s a 6-year-old struggling with the death of his fish, or a 25-year-old struggling with the death of her dad, we all ask the same questions and her answer gave me HOPE.
Now is the part where I tell all of you to stop what you’re doing and go buy this book right now. I want to buy a billion copies and give them to everyone I know. And even if you don’t, I’m sure I’ll be writing at least one more blog post about what I’ve read, but in the mean time,
Carry On, Warrior
xo xo
Book Reviews: Malcolm Gladwell, Mothers and Daughters + Mysterious Bookstores
Like I said in my last book review, I’m on a reading binge, and I’m loving it! It slowed down for a while during a busy season at work and moving, but I’m back at it and already have my next 3 books lined up. This batch was a great batch of books, all very different, but all very good.
The Tipping Point – I feel like I totally missed the boat on this one because everyone else read it years ago, but I am now officially the biggest Malcolm Gladwell fan. His writing is simply superb, weaving in hard facts with anecdotes so perfectly that you believe everything he says without batting an eye. And the topic is F-A-S-C-I-N-A-T-I-N-G. It’s one of those books that seems like a boring book you’d read for a class, but then you secretly fall in love with it.
Grade: A+
Glitter and Glue – I’d read reviews of this one in magazines, then mom borrowed it from the library so I picked it up and could hardly put it down. It’s just a great, true-blue story of the relationships of mothers and daughters and how they change over time. It would be a great vacation read – easy, light-hearted and makes you shed a tear or two.
Grade: A
Uncommon Marriage – We read this autobiographical book with our community group about facing obstacles in marriage and how to deal with them. Of course being the non-sports fan I am I had no clue who the Dungys were and thus didn’t know how the story would turn out. As I read, I was so encouraged by their life story, their public display of faith and their continued spousal support. Also, I learned a little bit more about football.
Grade: A-
Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore – This book recommendation came from an avid reader who had nothing but good things to say about it, so I knew it would be good. I picked it up in the airport on my way home from San Francisco and read half of it on the flight. (Come to find out it’s set in SF, which made it feel even more perfect) This book starts out so unassuming and normal about a boy in a bookstore, then slowly turns into a story with just enough magical whimsy to make you feel like a kid again believing in secret codes, immortality and clandestine underground meetings in NYC.
Grade: A-
xo xo
An Open Letter to my Husband on our 3rd Anniversary
Dear Husband,
I love you. Do you know how much I love you, day in and day out?
On our last anniversary, we spent an evening at dinner discussing what the next year would hold for us. It was such an exciting, joyous thing to dream about the future.
Well, the future came, and it wasn’t quite what we expected, in good ways and in bad. We bought a house. We lost a parent. We got promotions. We dealt with an illness of a close friend.
We couldn’t anticipate what the next year held, but I could anticipate one thing. There’s no one else I would rather go through any of it with than you.
That’s what makes a marriage. Not just enjoying the good times, loving each other and laughing with each other. But holding each other in the hurt and pain. Reassuring each other. Listening to each other. Praying for each other. Not necessarily understanding each other, but being there no matter what.
I watch our wedding video below, for surely the thousandth time, and I can remember our day so well. What I remember most is not how perfect the day was, but how excited I was to bind myself to you for life. To start our life together.
Well, we’re three years in, love, and I think we’re doing just fine.
Always and forever,
M
{the weekend behind}
Friday I blogged about the weekend ahead, sharing my to-do list of projects and expectations. Today I blog about the weekend behind, sharing my photos and memories.
My T O – D O L I S T for the weekend:
Set up our ping-pong table for our impending summer tournaments.
Done and Done. Photo evidence below.
Make these drool-inducing Lime-A-Rita Pops.
So they took way longer to freeze than expected and we ate Lime-A-Rita slushies,
but they were oh so delicious.
Hang photos – in our bedroom, entryway, living room, etc.Yes! Finally! It makes me so happy to have everything in it’s place.
Finish my latest read, Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore.It was so, so good. Book reviews coming soon!
Familiarize ourselves with the neighborhood on a long walk with pup.
Sadly this did not happen … to-do list #3 took longer than anticipated, much to husband’s chagrin.
Catch up on Game of Thrones.
Okay, so we didn’t exactly catch up, but we DID finally watch the Red Wedding and OH.MY.GOSH.
Find our mailbox. (Seriously, this is a legitimate task)
After trying our key in every single mailbox with very very little hope, we found it. In the last box we tried.
And it was filled with magazines and birchboxes.
Sleep in, X3.
Go on a stock-up trip to Walmart to fill our new refrigerator and pantry.
Take a bath in our oversized tub catching up on my magazines.
Visit one of our favorite breweries for an afternoon of sipping and relaxing.We had an afternoon of beers and martinis. Perfect.
xo xo
m.davis xoxo 
