life lately
{enjoying this // a cabin getaway with our community group}
{drinking this // golden beer on our date night in downtown bentonville}
{thankful for this // a wonderful thanksgiving with two families}
{playing with this // on a surprisingly warm day in december}
{loving this // an afternoon with my coworkers to give back to local families}
xo xo
Seasons of Life, Seasons of Love
I’ve literally been wanting to write this post for weeks and just haven’t brought myself to do it. I’ve been nervous. I’ve been nervous about being honest and transparent. I’m not sure why, since I’ve done it multiple times before on this blog – “real talk” – as I like to say, but for some reason I was nervous for this one. Blogging is therapy for me, and I think I’ve just been afraid to let it out. As I’ve heard from some of you, you can relate to my ramblings and appreciate hearing the raw emotion and honesty, so here goes.
The holidays are hard. I mean, they’re always hard – busy at work, busy at home, shopping, decorating, Christmas party-ing, baking – it often just seems never-ending and can be very overwhelming. But this year, it’s even harder, so much harder, because it’s my first holidays without my dad.
First I do want to acknowledge how thankful I am. I’m thankful that I have such great memories of last year’s Thanksgiving and Christmas with my dad. We were living in my parents house at the time, so we got a lot of extra time with him and my mom. One night in particular stands out – the four of us were sitting on the couch the night after Thanksgiving watching Garth Brooks Live from Las Vegas. It was extra special because I’d gotten to meet Garth a month earlier and adored him. We can rarely find something we all want to watch on TV and this was just one of those special moments. We all sat there for 2 hours watching, singing, laughing.
I’m thankful for my mom and for my husband, who have been my rocks this year. I am beyond thankful to have them both in my life and probably don’t tell them enough how much they mean to me.
And I’m so thankful for all the rest of you who have played a huge part in my life this year – my family and friends near and far sharing words of encouragement through texts or over lunches, my beloved community group, my incredible work family, my best friend who is always there to just listen, and of course my puppy who will cuddle away the tears, whether I ask for it or not.
But it’s still hard. It’s so much harder than you could ever imagine. There have been so many times this year I’ve just wanted my dad to be here for the little things (like telling him about eating the best seafood in gulf shores) or the big things (like buying my first car and our first home). He’s missing out on so much, and I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that he will miss out on so much more.
I’m struggling. I’m struggling to move on, especially during a time that has such a big focus on family. I’m struggling to see the bright side and all the many things I have right here, instead of focusing on the one I don’t have.
I’m fragile and I’m broken and I can’t do it alone. I have to admit that to myself, my family and friends, and most importantly to God.
This week, I was reminded of a song that I love – Seasons of Love from Rent. I hear the lyrics and think, How do I want to measure this year? In tears? In strife? Or in love?
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments, oh dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, a year in the life?How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in loveSeasons of love
Seasons of loveFive hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned or the way that she diedIt’s time now, to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friendsRemember the love
(Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)
Remember the love
(You know that love is a gift from up above)
Remember the love
(Share love, give love, spread love)
Measure in love
(Measure, measure your life in love)Seasons of love
Seasons of love
(Measure your life, measure your life in love)
xo xo
life lately
{eating this // food truck tacos}
{partying like this // as Tom Cruise a la Risky Business + Top Gun}
{walking in this // Sunday afternoon corn maze and pumpkin patch}
{loving this // time with both of our grandmothers}
{feeling like this // battling sickness}
xo xo
life lately
{celebrating this // a beautiful marriage of one of my oldest friends}
{drinking this // a beer with a view}
{enjoying this // evening at Crystal Bridges Light Night Out Party}
{puppy sitting this // the cutest thing you’ve ever seen}
{selfie-ing this // my new darker ‘do for fall}
{gorging on this // homemade apple pie + champagne with a wonderful friend home from germany}
xo xo
enjoying the stillness of saturday mornings
The past few weekends have been fairly quiet for us. Believe it or not, that’s been hard on me.
Friday afternoon hits and if I don’t have specific plans to do something or go somewhere that night, I feel like it’s not really the weekend. It’s just another weeknight.
Saturday morning hits and I wake up and want to go to the farmer’s market and get breakfast and coffee, then go shopping etc. etc. etc.
Saturday evening hits and repeat.
What’s wrong with this picture?
I’m such a busybody. I like having plans and I like making plans. This is not new news, but the hard part is, husband is the opposite.
I’ve previously written a post about being spontaneous instead of planning my life away. This is not that post. This is a post about being okay with the stillness, the simpleness, the quiet times in life.
The past few Saturdays we’ve had plans in the evenings, but nothing during the day. I wake up and think about what I can do all day, worrying it won’t be productive if I don’t really do something. But then I stop myself. Why do we feel like we have to be busy to have a good weekend? Do we have to go in to work Monday and list off all the things we did to prove it?
I’m learning to enjoy the quiet, especially while we don’t have kids. The past few Saturday mornings have been beautiful. I sit, and sip coffee, and read, and work on my blog. There is beauty in the stillness. I don’t have to be constantly going somewhere or doing something to enjoy my day, because when I sit and do these things, I realize how gratifying they actually are. Yes, I may have some FOMO (fear of missing out) every now and then, but that’s okay. I’m doing things for me, to re-energize me.
Happy Saturday morning, friends. I hope you stop the busyness and do something just for you today.
xo xo
life lately
{crafting this // my necklace wall}
{enjoying this // a wonderful evening in downtown bentonville with friends}
{eating this // chocolate peanut butter ball at a great board game night with old friends}
{drinking this // first PSL of the season!}
{celebrating this // little john’s 5th birthday with #mustacheselfies}
xo xo
“Before You Heal, You Have to Mourn”
I’ve previously written about grief, and I’ve previously written about my newfound love of NPR. Here, the two collide.
It’s been about 8 months since my dad has passed away. This week there was something in the air. I was overly emotional about everything. I thought I might explode with tears and emotion at any second. My grief came barreling back in to my life, shocking me so much it nearly knocked me off my feet.
But then Friday, a few things happened. Sometimes you hear or see or read things that just grab you, speak to your soul – one of which lately has been Carry On, Warrior that I’ve blogged about multiple times, but Friday it was a segment on NPR.
The segment was called, “A Poet on Losing His Son: ‘Before You Heal, You Have to Mourn.'” You can listen to the full 7-minute segment here (or read the transcript). Below I share some of my favorite parts of the interview, words I can relate to so well.
I don’t like the whole language of healing, which seems to me so false. As soon as something happens to us in America, everyone begins talking about healing. But before you heal, you have to mourn. And I found that poetry doesn’t shield you from grief, but it does give you an expression of that grief. And trying to express it, trying to articulate it, seemed like something I could do. And it gave me something to do with my grief.
There is no right way to grieve, and you have to let people grieve in the way that they can. One of the things that happens to everyone who is grief-stricken, who has lost someone, is there comes a time when everyone else just wants you to get over it, but of course you don’t get over it. You get stronger; you try and live on; you endure; you change; but you don’t get over it. You carry it with you.
Excerpt from Gabriel – Edward Hirsch’s book
I did not know the work of mourning
Is like carrying a bag of cement
Up a mountain at nightThe mountaintop is not in sight
Because there is no mountaintop
Poor Sisyphus griefI did not know I would struggle
Through a ragged underbrush
Without an upward pathBecause there is no path
There is only a blunt rock
With a river to fall intoAnd Time with its medieval chambers
Time with its jagged edges
And blunt instrumentsI did not know the work of mourning
Is a labor in the dark
We carry inside ourselves
I’ve never been big into poetry, but I thought this was so beautiful and raw and emotional. You might think this would make me feel more grief-stricken, but it’s more so comforting. It’s always encouraging to hear others who seem to understand exactly what you’re feeling and can put it into words better than you can. I’m not alone in my emotion.
Friday continued with a few other encouraging things – a perfectly-timed devotional, an eye-opening talk with a friend and some absolutely wonderful news at the end of the day that made me cry tears of joy. After a painful week, God knew exactly what I needed to continue the healing process. He is so good and so faithful and so loving.
So, happy weekend friends. I still feel very reflective this rainy, Saturday morning, but I also feel just a little stronger.
Carry on, warrior
xo xo
my three-day weekend in pictures
Saturday (and Sunday morning):
Celebrating John’s 29th Birthday all day … Pizza + Beer, Arcadia Retrograde, Party Time
Sunday:
Sleeping in + Lake Day
Monday:
Husband’s first 5k (in the rain), Brunch, Nap + Everything we procrastinated doing all weekend
How was your three-day weekend?
xo xo
sunday inspiration
{simple fashion – stripes + army vest}
{capturing beauty in a wine glass}
{friendship}
{fall recipes – goat cheese + walnuts + honey}
{clean and classic decor}
{passionate love, humphrey bogart + lauren bacall}
xo xo
My newfound {terribly surprising} love of NPR
I’ve never been much of a radio listener. I enjoy music of course, but always hated talk radio. Growing up on road trips when my parents would turn on talk radio or sports I thought it was the worst thing in the world. But the worst of the worst was when they turned on NPR – UGH. In my mind, NPR was an old-person radio station with boring news by boring people who have boring, monotonous voices.
I had a very negative connotation of NPR for years, until just last week.
As I’ve stated previously, we recently gave up cable and one of the things I miss most is watching/listening to The Today Show in the mornings while getting ready for work. When husband said there was a new NPR app he wanted to listen to in the mornings, I was hesitant to try it, but wanted something to fill the void even if it was the old-person radio.
NPR One is similar to Pandora – you can skip the segments you don’t want to hear and mark what you find interesting so it caters content to you. Guess what … it’s incredible.
I do still have a problem with the monotonous voices (I know, that’s just radio, but I guess I need more flair than that). But the content is fascinating. I’ve realized I don’t necessarily enjoy listening to the typical news segments, local, national or global, but I love the random stories I would never hear otherwise.
Here’s a few things I’ve learned from NPR this week …
- There are things called Morning Glory Raves. Strip away the drugs and alcohol typical to a rave, keep the loud music and energetic dancing and do it at 6:30am on a weekday. There are smoothie and espresso bars. People bring their kids. It’s a family-friendly party before work and school, and it sounds amazing. Currently only in London, Bangalore, Sydney, New York and San Fran, I’m thinking of starting one in Bentonville.
- Guys are more likely to say “uh” and girls are more likely to say “um.” When people say “uh” they’re searching for what to say and when they say “um” they’re searching for how to say it. Fascinating.
- Hops, a main ingredient in craft beer, is steadily rising in price due to the increasing popularity of craft beers in the US.
- There are only 1,600 pandas in the entire world and 300 are in captivity. One of those 1,600 had triplets this week, which is extremely extremely rare.
- Of all the U.S. currency in the world, nearly 80% is in $100 bills. That’s about a trillion dollars. One economist is suggesting doing away with the bill because it’s beneficial mostly to criminals (drug lords, human traffickers, etc.) to smuggle money more easily.
Where else but NPR would I have learned all of this as well as kept abreast on what’s happening with Ebola, Ferguson, Mo. and the interstate construction in Arkansas?
I guess I’m officially a convert, and I can’t wait for the day when my kids think I’m an old, boring person listening to talk radio on road trips.
xo xo
life lately
{floating this // the Illinois River with these awesome people}
{working this // Walmart Blogger Day in San Jose, CA}
{celebrating this // husband’s 27th birthday!}
{visiting this // family home in Magnolia, Ark. where my parents got married 41 years ago}
{enjoying this // beautiful night to see Steve Martin, Edie Brickell and the Steep Canyon Rangers at the AMP}
{celebrating this // our new home at our official housewarming party!}
xo xo
10 Signs of a Successful Housewarming Party
1. There are blue feathers literally everywhere. You find some 2 days later in the front bushes.
2. Someone loses their wallet.
3. You’re literally the last pizza delivery order of the night at 1am.
4. You develop a name on the spot for the punch everyone is gushing over. (SDP aka Sam’s Delicious Punch)
5. You spend way too long trying to perfect the jumping picture.
6. You also spend way too long trying to perfect the Moscow Mule.
7. You end up with more alcohol than you started with.
8. All your food gets eaten. Even your leftovers in the refrigerator.
9. There’s a (fake) sword fight on the front lawn.
10. You take a 4-hour nap the next day.
I’d say our house is officially warmed.
xo xo
Sunday Expectations vs Reality
E X P E C T A T I O N S
Wake up refreshed from the weekend, leisurely get ready for church while brewing that perfect Sunday morning coffee.
On your drive home from church, make your mental to-do list of everything that needs to get done today and start immediately.
Go grocery shopping then come home with fresh ingredients to make a good, healthy lunch.
Take the dog on a nice long walk or play catch in the backyard for a bit. Enjoy the sunshine.
Do just a little bit of housework, like a load of laundry or the dishes.
Do something just for you – read on your book, watch a TV show, take a nice long bath.
Plan dinners for the rest of the week and make a new recipe you’ve been eyeing for dinner.
Enjoy a cozy evening in with food, wine and a movie.
Go to bed early to prepare for the week ahead.
R E A L I T Y
Wake up late, lie in bed checking Facebook and Instagram then realize what time it is and rush out of bed to get hurriedly ready for church. Maybe stop by Starbucks for some coffee if you have 1 minute to spare before the service starts, or just drink the free coffee at church.
On your drive home from church, make your mental to-do list of everything that needs to get done today and immediately get overwhelmed.
Ravage the fridge and pantry to find something, anything for lunch and realize you HAVE to go to Walmart before dinner.
Lie on the couch after lunch telling yourself you’ll get up and do something productive in just a minute …. accidentally fall asleep.
Wake up feeling even lazier than before, but realize you have to do something today – either go to Walmart or clean the house, but definitely not both.
Go to Walmart only to come home and realize you have no clue what you could make for dinner with the $100 of groceries you just bought. Put in a pizza.
Play with the dog for a few minutes in the backyard, then come in only to complain about how hot it is and how tired you are from the day.
Stay up way too late getting lost in your latest TV show (ahem-Orphan Black).
Go to bed thinking about all the stuff you didn’t get done today and will have to do throughout the week instead. Immediately feel overwhelmed and wonder why you didn’t use your day productively.
ALT. REALITY: Laze around in your pajamas all day, just not giving a damn.
Can I get an Amen?
xo xo
life lately
{playing this // ball in the backyard with puppy}
{remembering this // our first 4th of July together in 2007}
{eating this // my first Salvadoran food experience – pupusas!}
{enjoying this // silly time with friends}
{relaxing with this // baseball + a beautiful sunset}
xo xo
life lately
{enjoying this // a beautiful evening with friends, wine + cheese}
{celebrating this // our third anniversary}
{working this // long Shareholders week made bearable thanks to these ladies}
{indulging in this // amazing ice cream food truck}
{trying this // a new nail trend that I’m loving}
xo xo
my story, my truth
Some days death just knocks the breath right out of you. The first day I experienced this was in 2006 when my grandfather died, and the second was in December when my Dad died.
But even though I haven’t felt that blunt force more than twice in my life, I’ve felt so much more, every day. Including today.
“If anywhere in your soul, you feel the desire to write, please write. Write as a gift to yourself and others. Everyone has a story to tell. Writing is not about creating tidy paragraphs that sound lovely or choosing the “right” words. It’s just about noticing who you are and noticing life and sharing what you notice. When you write your truth, it is a love offering to the world because it helps us feel braver and less alone.” – Carry On, Warrior
I’ve been sharing my story on my blog about life and grief and truth and I wanted to continue the story today. I cannot promise to write in tidy paragraphs that sound lovely, but I can promise to share what I notice and write my truth.
A family friend passed away today. I didn’t know him well. I’d only been around him twice. He was a friend of my parents while they were working in Ohio. He was there when my Dad passed away and he was this gentle, calming presence. Someone you know genuinely means what they say and will genuinely do anything to help you.
He got married to his fiance this week and while that may make you sad, it makes me so so happy. Just from the little I knew and saw, they were a beautiful couple and I’m so thankful they found each other and she will “always be his forever.”
But how is this fair, how?! I feel like I’ve learned so much about death this year and grown so much, then this happens and I feel like I’m stepping 10 steps back.
I’m crying. I’m crying because it brings up feelings about my Dad. I’m crying because now I can truly empathize with someone who loses a loved one. I’m crying because I can’t possibly understand how I will get through my life knowing I will have to go through this feeling again and again and again.
Someone told me you have to schedule time to grieve. Just like you schedule coffee with a friend or time to go to the grocery store. It needs to be part of your week. Ever since I heard that I knew it was true, but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. It’s like voluntarily scheduling myself to get a shot every week. Why would I put myself through the pain if I didn’t have to?
I’m still learning. I’m still crawling through this grief and life even though I’m 25 years old. This is my story I’m sharing with you. I don’t have any inspirational words to end with. I just want to tell my story. I want to be honest and real even though it’s scary and hard and messy. This is my forum, to tell my truth. Life is hard. Life is really, really hard. Every single day is hard. Some days are harder than others and today was one of those days.
But there’s one thing I do know – I know when my Dad saw Scott today, he had a big grin on his face, gave him a big hug and they started talking about football. And that, that does give me some joy.
xo xo
An Open Letter to my Husband on our 3rd Anniversary
Dear Husband,
I love you. Do you know how much I love you, day in and day out?
On our last anniversary, we spent an evening at dinner discussing what the next year would hold for us. It was such an exciting, joyous thing to dream about the future.
Well, the future came, and it wasn’t quite what we expected, in good ways and in bad. We bought a house. We lost a parent. We got promotions. We dealt with an illness of a close friend.
We couldn’t anticipate what the next year held, but I could anticipate one thing. There’s no one else I would rather go through any of it with than you.
That’s what makes a marriage. Not just enjoying the good times, loving each other and laughing with each other. But holding each other in the hurt and pain. Reassuring each other. Listening to each other. Praying for each other. Not necessarily understanding each other, but being there no matter what.
I watch our wedding video below, for surely the thousandth time, and I can remember our day so well. What I remember most is not how perfect the day was, but how excited I was to bind myself to you for life. To start our life together.
Well, we’re three years in, love, and I think we’re doing just fine.
Always and forever,
M
{the weekend behind}
Friday I blogged about the weekend ahead, sharing my to-do list of projects and expectations. Today I blog about the weekend behind, sharing my photos and memories.
My T O – D O L I S T for the weekend:
Set up our ping-pong table for our impending summer tournaments.
Done and Done. Photo evidence below.
Make these drool-inducing Lime-A-Rita Pops.
So they took way longer to freeze than expected and we ate Lime-A-Rita slushies,
but they were oh so delicious.
Hang photos – in our bedroom, entryway, living room, etc.Yes! Finally! It makes me so happy to have everything in it’s place.
Finish my latest read, Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore.It was so, so good. Book reviews coming soon!
Familiarize ourselves with the neighborhood on a long walk with pup.
Sadly this did not happen … to-do list #3 took longer than anticipated, much to husband’s chagrin.
Catch up on Game of Thrones.
Okay, so we didn’t exactly catch up, but we DID finally watch the Red Wedding and OH.MY.GOSH.
Find our mailbox. (Seriously, this is a legitimate task)
After trying our key in every single mailbox with very very little hope, we found it. In the last box we tried.
And it was filled with magazines and birchboxes.
Sleep in, X3.
Go on a stock-up trip to Walmart to fill our new refrigerator and pantry.
Take a bath in our oversized tub catching up on my magazines.
Visit one of our favorite breweries for an afternoon of sipping and relaxing.We had an afternoon of beers and martinis. Perfect.
xo xo
{the weekend ahead}
Oh the glorious three-day weekends. Memorial Day weekend in particular holds a special place in my heart, since three years ago this weekend I married my high school sweetheart. Last year we celebrated with a weekend getaway to Kansas City; this year we’re celebrating by enjoying a weekend in our new HOME. Even though I am always full of wanderlust and several months ago had grand plans of going to Washington D.C. for Memorial Day weekend, I’m oh so content just staying home with my love.
My T O – D O L I S T for the weekend:
Set up our ping-pong table for our impending summer tournaments.
Make these drool-inducing Lime-A-Rita Pops.
Hang photos – in our bedroom, entryway, living room, etc.
Finish my latest read, Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore.
Familiarize ourselves with the neighborhood on a long walk with pup.
Catch up on Game of Thrones.
Find our mailbox. (Seriously, this is a legitimate task)
Sleep in, X3.
Go on a stock-up trip to Walmart to fill our new refrigerator and pantry.
Take a bath in our oversized tub catching up on my magazines.
Visit one of our favorite breweries for an afternoon of sipping and relaxing.
xo xo
What I’ve Learned From Being a Homeowner in the First 7 Days
It’s an amazing, incredible, tumultuous, life-changing thing.
But let me back up first … we bought our first house!! It’s really amazing how mysteriously and perfectly God works. We had not planned on looking for a house at this time, but due to unforseen circumstances we began the search. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you the house we purchased is the very first house we looked at. Husband and I are opposites in a lot of ways, but we’re also alike in a lot of ways and one of those is our taste in design/decor/clothing, etc.
We had decided on a price range and several neighborhoods to look at, so one day we went driving around simply “window shopping” with mom. We ended up touring one house and loving the style, but it was out of budget and bigger than what we were looking for, so the realtor told us the house next door was just about to go on the market. We went in and it was literally love at first sight. It was the perfect size to grow into (4 bedrooms), a large backyard for our dog, open concept, hardwood floors, wrap-around porch, basically it couldn’t get any better than this.
The same time we were starting the house search, we were also exploring some other career opportunities that would take us out of state. You know those times when God is very clearly closing one door and opening another? This was one of those times. I truly believe the timing was not accidental and God was clearly telling us where he wants us for now. How awesome is it to have a God like that??
{our perfect home!}
{first meal in our new house}
{sneak peek of what will most definitely be one of our favorite rooms}
{lounging on the porch watching the sunset}
7 things I’ve learned in my short time of being a new homeowner ….
1. The budget is in full effect. Being a homeowner is anything but cheap.
2. That feeling of coming home, to YOUR home, is indescribable.
3. For the first time in my life, I’m not thinking about spending money on clothes, but on furniture and decor.
4. Buying a home isn’t just about the home, but the surroundings – where’s the closest Walmart, what’s our new go-to fast food place, how long will it take me to get to work, etc.
5. The little things are ridiculously exciting, like having a garage to park in or hanging a photo in the perfect spot.
6. There’s no shame in stealing decorating or organizational ideas from Pinterest.
7. I officially feel like an adult – mortgages, mowing the lawn on saturdays and spending a paycheck on a refrigerator will do that to a person.
xo xo
life lately, stress + prayer
Hello luvvys, it’s been a while. I’ve missed blogging and my creative outlet. It’s been a whirlwind here as of late, more so than usual, and there’s really not an end in sight until June. Sigh. The busy-ness has been some exciting things (to announce soon), some monotonous things, some fun things, some work things, some of which you’ll see below.
I’m struggling with how to process everything. I’ve always been prone to stress. I often blow things out of proportion and focus on the negatives, not seeing the positive and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the present and the present is stressful. I’m constantly looking for ways to de-stress – reading, walking, baths, ice cream – but none of them are long-term solutions. I always wonder if I’m just meant to stress. If it’s a personality trait like being persuasive, considerate or outspoken. Husband is the opposite and doesn’t understand stress, doesn’t understand how I can let it affect my sleep or my eating or my weekend.
I know deep down that the key is prayer. I think it’s being so connected to the Holy Spirit throughout the day that He’s constantly giving you exactly what you need in that moment – peace, joy, faith. “Pray without ceasing.” He is the only thing that can calm you when everything around you is a storm. Everything else is temporary. Everything else will fade away. But He is always there.
I know this, but it’s so hard to put into practice, and I’m really struggling right now. I’m writing this really for me as a reminder, in what sometimes feels like a diary in which I give away the key to anyone who asks, and as an open prayer.
I hope to keep my blogging consistent over the next few weeks, sharing updates and inspirations, but I’m not sure I can keep that promise. For now, here are a few photos of my life lately.
{celebrating // Easter with my beautiful family on Mount Sequoyah}
{reading // like crazy, review post to come soon}
{loving // these glasses for my vision center photoshoot}
{enjoying // a perfect evening on the Bentonville square with friends}
{remembering // my dad’s birthday}
{working // the sustainability expo with 4 of my Walmart Moms}
{celebrating // this bride-to-be getting married in 7 weeks}
{drinking // craft beer at foamfest with these boys}
xo xo
my wednesdays.
Can I let you in a little secret? I secretly LOVE Wednesdays, and probably not for the reasons you may love Wednesdays.
Wednesdays are my night to do exactly as I wish. We’re always busy throughout the week with various things, but there’s one night I can always count on to relax and rejuvenate. Husband doesn’t come home until late, after teaching karate, so I get to spend the time with no one to answer to except myself.
My Wednesday evenings usually look fairly similar, with tonight being a prime example:
Go on a R U N*
{mindlessly blaring Queen Bey}
B L O G
{unfortunately one of the only days during the week I seem to find time to do so}
Pick-up an easy dinner and my favorite W I N E
{preferably sushi and a good cabernet}
R E L A X on the couch and catch up on my magazines + girly TV shows
{currently consisting of Pretty Little Liars, Nashville and Revenge}
Retire to bed early, with time to R E A D
{new post coming soon about my books of late}
*new addition with the beautiful weather and renewed sense of fitness
It does vary a bit each week, like next week I’m hosting a girls happy hour, and sometimes I get the urge to cook so I’ll spend my time grocery shopping and preparing a late dinner for when husband gets home.
Pretty simple, right? I don’t need much to rejuvenate, but I do need alone time – something I’ve learned means I’m actually an introvert, not an extrovert as I would have previously thought. Oh, and wine … wine is always good. (says mille davis and olivia pope)
Happy Wednesday! xo xo
I’m doing okay.
Remember that post I wrote about two months ago? Where I led with, “You want real, here’s real: I’m not okay.” Well, it’s two months later and I’m doing okay.
Guess what, friends, time works. Time heals. Not all, but it heals. It’s a Friday night. I’m laying in bed writing this after a great evening at home – taking Olli on a walk, cooking dinner barefoot in the kitchen (which Mom thinks means I’m pregnant … but I’m not) and relaxing with some favorite shows.
I’m trying so hard to be thankful every day for things in my life. I’m trying so hard to work through my grief. I’m trying so hard to praise God in all circumstances. It’s still hard, but I’ve definitely made progress.
I’m not here to sugar coat it and tell you it’s not all gone. Lord knows it’s not. I still feel a little hollow inside. I still feel sadder than I use to, lonelier than I use to, more reflective than I use to.
There’s still bad days. Days when all I want to do is cry. But those days are getting fewer and farther between. The perplexing part though is, I’m not sure if that’s what I want. I’m not sure if I want to be okay. It makes it feel more real and it makes it feel like I’m forgetting him. So some days I hold tight to my grief, letting it bury me because I don’t want it to go away.
I need to learn how to hold on to it and let it go at the same time. That’s where I am. Caught in the divide. I can see the light though. I can see the Lord pulling me in the right direction. He’s been so evident lately, putting specific people in my life at certain times to talk about certain things. I just love that. Love that I have someone looking out for me like that.
It’s getting better, friends, and I have all of you to thank as well for your continual love.
As Henry David Thoreau says, “Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.”
xo xo
thankful {days 5-13}
{Day 5: I’m thankful for blue skies, sunroofs + lunch breaks. #lent #40daychallenge}
{Day 6: I’m thankful for good conversations with old friends. #lent #40daychallenge}
{Day 7: I’m thankful for this beautiful devotional that has been my source of hope, joy and peace the past few months. #lent #40daychallenge #jesuscalling}
{Day 8: Rough day at work then I come home to puppy and puke in his crate. So today I am thankful for the little things in the mailbox that made me smile. #lent#40daychallenge #birchbox}
{Day 9: First day that I’ve missed … but I was thankful for Fridays!}
{Day 10: I’m so thankful for the opportunity to celebrate a beautiful marriage that truly embodies the love of Christ. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Saunders! #lent#40daychallenge #weddingday}
{Day 11: I’m thankful for social media. Otherwise I may not have the opportunity to be so encouraged by words like these. {regram from @jtlstreet} #lent#40daychallenge #johnpiper}
{Day 12: I’m thankful for retail therapy – one of my purchases being this adorable shirt from Elysian Boutique! #lent #40daychallenge}
{Day 13: I’m thankful for to-do lists and time for blogging! {new post: milledavis.com} #lent#40daychallenge #blog}
xo xo
You might also enjoy: My Lenten #40DayChallenge, there’s beauty in the weekends
m.davis xoxo 
